I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
