wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
