Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize