i was born a porn star she said
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
