that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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