i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize