Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
