Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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