Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
