why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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