Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
