I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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