I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Reggie can tackle my bush.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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