He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
