can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
