Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize