i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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