I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
