It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize