She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
