have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
