I didn't shave. On purpose
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
