i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
