Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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