Heybabeimwearingurpanties
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
