apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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