so explain again why im purple
no
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
