Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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