ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
