my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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