But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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