you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
