we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
thus making me awesome and them whores
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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