I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
