How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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