Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize