She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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