hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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