My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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