my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
