all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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