So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I won't apologize to a one balled man
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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