Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he thought i was a dude.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
