He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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