Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
