So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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