how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
