omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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