ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize