Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Randomize
