He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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