I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
