So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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