she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
