the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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