Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
