yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
