Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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