You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
