Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
