I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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