Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
