you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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