And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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