I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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