You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize